Reporting.
‘Reporting anything unusual won’t hurt you.’
On bus stations, subway cars, outside Tescos, signs remind you to:
report.
This isn’t the time to keep quiet. If you see anything unusual, report it. Report it. It won’t hurt you to report.
Tell her majesty’s government what you see.
What are your neighbours doing? Are they scheming? Do they plot?
Are they doing anything… unusual?
‘What is unusual?’ you may ask.
I’m glad you asked.
Let me define, instead, what is usual.
Things that are usual:
1. working
2. shopping
3. eating
4. drinking beer
5. procreation
6. watching television
These are usual things.
If you see something not usual, report it. It won’t hurt you.
You’ll feel so much better if you report.
What will you gain from discretion?
Unburden yourself. Free your conscience.
To be unusual is selfish.
A patriot conforms. A patriot reports.
Report and be uplifted.
The state is here for you.
We see you. We love you.
Report anything unusual.
Anything.
Everything.
Big brother likes your selfie.
03:22 Saturday.
Bart is still awake working on stencils. He is using a pocket size digital projector, bluetoothed to his phone, to enlarge and outline his design drawing.
09:16 Saturday.
Bart, Carissa and me scamper down to the hardware shop on the high street and buy buckets of discount house paint, brushes, rollers and crisps.
12:38 Saturday.
Down by the canal, Bart and Mac set to work outlining the wall with masking tape, and spray paint.
The wall is 19 metres long and 2.5 metres high.
14:02 Saturday.
We blank out the wall with white paint. Bart is meticulous about filling all the little gaps between the bricks.
Erik comes down to the canal to lend a hand too.
We take a little smoko break.
18:43 Saturday.
We take a little smoko break.
Erik does some juggling.
Carissa takes photos of the piece from the other side of the canal.
I take photos of Carissa taking photos.
I take photos of Erik juggling.
19:32 Saturday.
I make contemporaneous notes for my report.
The large blocks of color are done. With four of us painting the work is going quickly.
Mac and Bart are disappointed we did not complete the piece today, but they are pleased that there are no gaps in the white undercoat.
Before we leave, Mac writes a message to other graffiti artists on the big, blank, white wall: ‘work in progress’.
10:27 Sunday.
We arrive back at the canal bank and find that despite the CCTV cameras everywhere, someone has vandalised Bart and Mac’s graffiti.
Next to ‘work in progress’ some witty character has written ‘work, work, work, work, work, work…’ all over Bart’s nice blank white wall.
It looks pretty cool.
Bart marks out his giant 3d characters. The design begins to take shape.
11:08 Sunday.
Erik arrives.
We take a smoko break.
11:34 Sunday.
Bart and Mac look super tired and stressed out.
Me and Erik feel guilty and start helping them again.
19:57 Sunday.
Final report.
The subjects (3 caucasian males, and one asiatic female) collect their paints and brushes and depart the scene.
CCTV surveillance photography of the unauthorised painting shown below.
00:08 Monday.
Two caucasian males observed removing food from bins at the rear of Sainsburys. Dumpster diving suspected.
Further reports after supper.
Prairie Oyster Pudding.
A traditional British Desert.
Ingredients:
Fried dumpster bananas
Dumpster Indian dumplings
Dumpster strawberry yogurt
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