“I see many films, and hear many stories about hitchhikers, and they always meet with some crazy guy, who kill them. I see you there, and I think I better give you a ride, because otherwise maybe some crazy guy will come along. You must be careful. Especially here in Australia…”
Half way up the track we meet Tank, on his ATV.
“Looks like good eating” he comments, peering at the roo between the folds of the tarp. “I’ll give you a ride to the top if there’s a burger in it for me.”
“Sure thing mate, come up for dinner tonight. Kangaroo steaks are on the menu…”
I meet Marlene in the Embassy foyer and take delivery of my beer.
“Do you have a car?” she asks me.
“No. Just this.” I show her my scooter.
“Did you ride this from Scotland” she gasps.
“Not all the way” I reassure her. “I’m a hitchhiker.”
Marlene stares at me, wide eyed.
“You hitchhiked from Scotland?”
“Most of the way, yeah. All across Europe.”
“Aren’t you exhausted?”
“I could use a beer…”
Indian fruit is so much better than Australian fruit. Grow better fruit Australia!
“They were saying; ‘don’t take photos, because the kids will throw petrol bombs at you and they may go in our shops’. No shit. That’s what they said…”
“I ended up becoming friends with some sort of dodgy real estate gangster who worked next door. It’s a long story, but basically this guy took me 400 km to the next city, gave me a tour of all the sights, put me up in a luxury hotel…”
“It was called Hungarian salami, but… Australian salami is not so good. We have all kinds of different ones but they all taste kind of the same.”
Pasti frowns and nods. “You must try some real Hungarian sausage…”
“A man is arrested and taken to the police station. They tie him to a chair and blindfold him. Then the sargent gets a jug and begins to pour water into the man’s shoes…”
There was a really cute couple doing their wedding photos. I congratulated them and slapped beers in their hands. I think they thought I was some sort of nut but I managed to explain I am Australian, and that seemed to resolve the matter for them…