It’s full of bacteria” he spat. “Look, there’s rats shitting on the floor, and flies landing on the rat poop, and then the flies are landing on the meat!” He looked outraged. “You take two mouthfuls of that curry, and you’ll be shitting through a straw for a week…
Fairy Meadow Beach is in the northern suburbs of Wollongong, on Australia’s south-east coast. Shannon and I have spent a lazy, sunny week here. This is a spot that could hardly be more convenient for low budget travelers. There are plenty of dumpsters nearby, overflowing with fresh fruit and vege’s. We have set ourselves up…
Outback Australia is pretty sparsely populated. The people you do meet are colourful characters: stoic, steadfast and sunburnt; shaped by the harsh landscape and climate. Meet a few Mount Isa residents we bumped into. Termite Hill Terry. Jawa Jack. Fish Head Fred. Hunter S. There’s always a few city folk doing the tourist thing in…
…His hands were all over her. He was trying to take off her clothing..! I was completely incredulous… I acted without thinking. There was a heavy timber sandwich board, leaning against the wall, and I picked it up, with both hands, and bashed the indecent cretin on the back of the head with it……
…Before you moved in there was druggies running a meth’ lab in that place. There were hookers turning tricks in there, fights, non stop fucking problems. I had to call the cops one night ’cause this guy climbed my fence and fell asleep in my back yard…” I lived in Redfern for a while, in…
I Am Tall. Get Over It. I get so sick of people commenting on my height. It’s like: “really? I’m tall? No shit? I never noticed that before. Fuck! You are such an observant person!” I’m not sure why I’m so annoyed by it. I guess it’s partly repetition. If you hear anything often…
“There is a hungry old wolf, lives in this wood. Better you should be home now that night has fallen, for he may smell your young blood on the breeze…
…The job seemed extraordinarily simple. All I had to do was slide down a ladder, high-five two other ‘sailors’, stick my paw in a bucket of chicken, take a big bite, grin like an idiot and whoop with joy. In reality though, whooping and chewing chicken at the same time is more difficult than it…
Tuk-tuk drivers make me feel inadequate. Here is a guy who, despite being a chronic alcoholic womaniser with five children, manages to operate a small business…
…We know, straight, this is not ordinary taxi. He has some loud music on the stereo, like, gangster rap, and he wear very special clothes, some american cap, gold chains, some things like this… ‘Where will you like to go?’ he asks us. We tell him the place. ‘OK’ he say. Get in… I met…
“…you will get a hundred Baht per hour.” “Really? Nice. I’ll do anything for three hundred Baht. Do they want me to get nude?” “No! No, no, no. It is a portrait class. They will only be painting your face.” “Oh. OK… I don’t mind getting nude…” “Everywhere I go in Thailand people stare at…
…Some time in the next few minutes I am going to shit. If I don’t find a suitably private place to do it, it is going to happen in my pants, and I know from experience that when you feel this sort of urgency in the tropics, the results are usually liquid, and that means…